Buyer (says): “Thanks for your time on this, ...and by adding this feature you will get more sales”
Seller (thinks): “No sir, if this showed on preview, it will reduce sales”
“I have no problem but, our budget is low for this project. $_ is too much for this work.”
Call me at 555-123123 …
It shouldn’t take long for someone who knows what their doing..
^ This one is my absolute favorite
“I want a theme with these 200 options, with these 50 custom functionality points and with a custom design. I need to give the project to my client by tomorrow afternoon”
Client: Add X, Y and Z and is it possible by tomorrow or even tonight will be great.
Dev: Possible but not even possible to start until the spec X and content Y provided, can I get it now?
[ After a long silence for a week ]
Client: Still not completed?
American client calling my cell phone (in Europe) at 1:30 AM, ignoring the time difference that is clearly specified on my contact profile.
Client (without introduction): “Hello, I want this and that and blah blah blah blah blah “
Me (sleepy voice): “excuse me, who is this”
Client: “Oh, were you sleeping? I didn’t know you were sleeping! I can’t hire a developer who sleeps at her office in the middle of the day” – hangs up
CLIENT : My previous coder charged me $80 to do 90% of the work, then disappeared .. can you finish it off for up to $50 thankyou.
ME: Thats true but what they did I would have paid them more to take up another profession, then you could afford more than the measly $50 you tight ass !
( my reply above isnt an actual reply lol ) Im far more professional LOL
hahaha, I’m getting nervous just reading this. I thought I had noob clients
customer: HELP I PURCHASED YOUR FILE AND DOWNLOADED IT BUT I CANNOT OPEN IT . I HAVE CONTACTED SUPPORT 5 MINUTES AGO BUT I CANT WAIT ? I THINK THE FILE IS BROKEN WHAT DO I DO ?
me: did you try unzipping the file?
customer: WHAT DO YOU MEAN UNZIPPING ? I TRIED OPENING WITH iMOVIE AND I GET ERROR !!!
me: (falls off chair)